>> I just really need to develop the boundary of being able to treat this just as a job instead of the locus of my self-worth. <<
One possibility would be to increase your investment in things outside of work. That could be relationships, hobbies, spirituality, home activities like gardening, community, whatever. The more you have in your life, the smaller piece of pie your "work identity" will occupy.
A Circle of Life or similar tool can help you think about the different parts of your life, and how happy you are with each of them. Then you can see areas you might want to work on improving.
>> I care about my job and want to do a good job, but my rejection sensitivity is SO high that if she's annoyed I lose it a little. <<
That bit of human hardwiring can be very hard to overcome, because it's designed to keep people from running off to get eaten by saberteeth. I did a post on "How to Care Less About What People Think" though.
Thoughts
One possibility would be to increase your investment in things outside of work. That could be relationships, hobbies, spirituality, home activities like gardening, community, whatever. The more you have in your life, the smaller piece of pie your "work identity" will occupy.
A Circle of Life or similar tool can help you think about the different parts of your life, and how happy you are with each of them. Then you can see areas you might want to work on improving.
>> I care about my job and want to do a good job, but my rejection sensitivity is SO high that if she's annoyed I lose it a little. <<
That bit of human hardwiring can be very hard to overcome, because it's designed to keep people from running off to get eaten by saberteeth. I did a post on "How to Care Less About What People Think" though.