My relationship with Fate and Type Moon in general has been an odd, strangely life-altering one. Long story short, I got into it in 2015 with no real idea that it would reshape the configuration of my personal relationships considerably through engagement with the fandom and, in particular, on the forum called Beast's Lair. Some of it has resulted in my having a number of people in my life that I really wouldn't want to do with out. On the other hand, I feel like it created a distance between myself and one of my closest friends that I'm not sure will ever entirely bridge itself. I think we've tried, but on the other hand, I don't really understand why it is that she seems to need and want me around so much less than I do in turn. That isn't to say that I don't still value and love her, but it's tough. That is more of a long, personal post in the making, though.
This post is about rewatching Fate/Zero. It has been long enough now that I feel the need to watch it again before engaging with it in order to try and write fic or anything like that. Back in the early days of being in the fandom, I started a fic called Empty Gold. It's strange, because I can still connect with the memory of what I was feeling when I began to write it, but I feel like that I have changed so much as a person in the three years since I started writing it down that I wonder if it ever could become what I had first envisioned. However, I'm still kind of attached to it, not least of all because it still gets a slow trickle of Kudos almost all the time and continues to gain subscriptions. I can't say how much that part is encouraging. Last week, one day I awakened to a new reader working their way through the fic and commenting on almost every chapter. I am not lying when I say that i'd been considering trying to wrangle myself back into working on that fic before, but that response has really lit a fire under that ambition.
More than anything, I've been working on a YuGiOh fic series that my friend (who just joined DW!)![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
toxictsukino has been a lovely, wonderful, perfect cheerleader for. So I'm going to be into that for a while. However, I have started to watch Fate/Zero again so I might be able to work on Empty Gold, if nothing else, again in the future. It is Gilgamesh/Saber, which is definitely the less-healthy of the ships I have for her. (I also love Rin/Shirou/Saber, don't get me wrong.) But there's something so interesting and cathartic to me about ships that
involve a redemptive arc for one of the characters but which cannot accomplish said redemption in and of themselves. I don't like magic-peen or vag-made-me-good type stuff, but I love seeing characters who are foils or on opposite sides grow to better in spite of themselves.
I'm a few episodes into Fate/Zero, and my first reactions to the actual narrative itself are those I remember, so perhaps I haven't changed as much as I sometimes think. I still love how many relationships there are in this show. I love how it feels heavy and political. However, if it weren't for knowing that there was at least some universe in which there was a silver lining ten years later, I don't think I would be able to stomach it.
Kirei is so interesting because, on the one hand, he is the kind of villain whose later actions can make me unequivocally hate his guts. And yet here we can see how there are moments in a person's life that shape them, and it feels like that before some of those moments of Kirei, there were probably different "flags" that could have been activated in his life as well. It is an interesting philosophical quandary: was Kirei always going to be that way? Or was there hope somewhere he didn't get to go?
On the other hand, certainly the most abhorrent characters in Fate/Zero are Gilles, Ryounosuke, and Zouken. I hate each of them with my own special passion. However, Ryounosuke is the one who terrifies me the most. I remember making a joke one time that in spite of them both being evil, sadistic murderers in the end, that I would rather have a drink with Ryounosuke. Then, a moment later, it slapped me int he fact that this is exactly the way in which he gets to some of his victims whom he tortures and brutally murders. It still makes my stomach turn. If not for having a pretty interesting headcanon theory connected to Shirou about him, which I may explain later, I would almost as soon pretend he didn't exist. I have a genuine, visceral reaction of revulsion toward him.
And I would personally like to torture Zouken to death. If anyone would like to train me in magecraft to that end, let's go. Let Sakura baby go.
Iskandar is, on the other hand, an admirable character in this narrative in spite of the fact that his ideals are those of a conqueror, a violent colonizer. I appreciate how he has standards for battle, though. He almost seems to be a shipper-on-deck for Saber and Diarmuid. "The flowers of the battlefield must bloom," eh? Diarmuid is just trying so hard, and Kayneth won't let him. I'm watching the dub this time around. I really don't like the "main" Fate series dubs because I think that Rin is terribly miscast and Shirou is boringly miscast, but Fate/Zero is working okay for me in that regard. Gilgamesh is an asshole, but I love him. I really wish that we'd gotten to see non-Berserker Lancelot in the anime - I know he's probably in FGO, btu who is she?
I've read a lot of takes on the series that are very unfavorable toward Kariya, but I feel so bad for him. I probably would agree that his motives are selfish and even entitled, but I don't really know what one can expect if put in his shoes. Ugh.
This post is about rewatching Fate/Zero. It has been long enough now that I feel the need to watch it again before engaging with it in order to try and write fic or anything like that. Back in the early days of being in the fandom, I started a fic called Empty Gold. It's strange, because I can still connect with the memory of what I was feeling when I began to write it, but I feel like that I have changed so much as a person in the three years since I started writing it down that I wonder if it ever could become what I had first envisioned. However, I'm still kind of attached to it, not least of all because it still gets a slow trickle of Kudos almost all the time and continues to gain subscriptions. I can't say how much that part is encouraging. Last week, one day I awakened to a new reader working their way through the fic and commenting on almost every chapter. I am not lying when I say that i'd been considering trying to wrangle myself back into working on that fic before, but that response has really lit a fire under that ambition.
More than anything, I've been working on a YuGiOh fic series that my friend (who just joined DW!)
toxictsukino has been a lovely, wonderful, perfect cheerleader for. So I'm going to be into that for a while. However, I have started to watch Fate/Zero again so I might be able to work on Empty Gold, if nothing else, again in the future. It is Gilgamesh/Saber, which is definitely the less-healthy of the ships I have for her. (I also love Rin/Shirou/Saber, don't get me wrong.) But there's something so interesting and cathartic to me about ships that involve a redemptive arc for one of the characters but which cannot accomplish said redemption in and of themselves. I don't like magic-peen or vag-made-me-good type stuff, but I love seeing characters who are foils or on opposite sides grow to better in spite of themselves.
I'm a few episodes into Fate/Zero, and my first reactions to the actual narrative itself are those I remember, so perhaps I haven't changed as much as I sometimes think. I still love how many relationships there are in this show. I love how it feels heavy and political. However, if it weren't for knowing that there was at least some universe in which there was a silver lining ten years later, I don't think I would be able to stomach it.
Kirei is so interesting because, on the one hand, he is the kind of villain whose later actions can make me unequivocally hate his guts. And yet here we can see how there are moments in a person's life that shape them, and it feels like that before some of those moments of Kirei, there were probably different "flags" that could have been activated in his life as well. It is an interesting philosophical quandary: was Kirei always going to be that way? Or was there hope somewhere he didn't get to go?
On the other hand, certainly the most abhorrent characters in Fate/Zero are Gilles, Ryounosuke, and Zouken. I hate each of them with my own special passion. However, Ryounosuke is the one who terrifies me the most. I remember making a joke one time that in spite of them both being evil, sadistic murderers in the end, that I would rather have a drink with Ryounosuke. Then, a moment later, it slapped me int he fact that this is exactly the way in which he gets to some of his victims whom he tortures and brutally murders. It still makes my stomach turn. If not for having a pretty interesting headcanon theory connected to Shirou about him, which I may explain later, I would almost as soon pretend he didn't exist. I have a genuine, visceral reaction of revulsion toward him.
And I would personally like to torture Zouken to death. If anyone would like to train me in magecraft to that end, let's go. Let Sakura baby go.
Iskandar is, on the other hand, an admirable character in this narrative in spite of the fact that his ideals are those of a conqueror, a violent colonizer. I appreciate how he has standards for battle, though. He almost seems to be a shipper-on-deck for Saber and Diarmuid. "The flowers of the battlefield must bloom," eh? Diarmuid is just trying so hard, and Kayneth won't let him. I'm watching the dub this time around. I really don't like the "main" Fate series dubs because I think that Rin is terribly miscast and Shirou is boringly miscast, but Fate/Zero is working okay for me in that regard. Gilgamesh is an asshole, but I love him. I really wish that we'd gotten to see non-Berserker Lancelot in the anime - I know he's probably in FGO, btu who is she?
I've read a lot of takes on the series that are very unfavorable toward Kariya, but I feel so bad for him. I probably would agree that his motives are selfish and even entitled, but I don't really know what one can expect if put in his shoes. Ugh.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-09 09:51 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2018-12-09 09:52 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2018-12-09 09:53 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2018-12-09 09:58 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2018-12-09 10:24 pm (UTC)From:Zouken's horrible but apparently the VN gave him some "save mankind" motivation? Oh, former motivation. http://typemoon.wikia.com/wiki/Zouken_Matou.
I think zero was a better show than UBW, but yeah darker. Banquet of Kings was great but means some fans will arguet Gil or Iskandar were right.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-09 10:32 pm (UTC)From:It really depends on my mood as to which I prefer. As mentioned, my motivation for picking it up again was to perhaps finish a fic.
I think the biggest thing in Fate is that no one is ever right, not completely, but they might meet come to a better conclusion through the side effects of what they're doing.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-09 11:03 pm (UTC)From:Yeah that was hialrious. Zero and UBW are the ones with the best made characters, I think. BUT...I liked the ending of Stay/night more than the one from UBW for reasons....
no subject
Date: 2018-12-10 01:00 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2018-12-27 03:57 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2018-12-27 04:12 am (UTC)From: