prixmium: (snowbaird - in the water)

This post is sort of reading/listening journal for my consumption of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes in audiobook form. It focuses on my growing understanding of Coriolanus as a character and how it differs from my expectations going in. I'm not finished with the audiobook yet, but it contains potential spoilers up the 9 hour in mark. [Cross-posted from my THG sideblog: https://districtxii.tumblr.com/)

So, I've been distracted by work and a few other fandoms for my attention, but I got back to the audiobook of TBOSAS today as someone who watched the movie first. (I read the original trilogy before the movies back in college, but being an adult, I'm far less patient for books. Furthermore, because of unstable living circumstances, I don't particularly want the extra weight of having books to bring, though a part of me misses having a lot of books. In that way, the audiobook has been a lifesaver.)

Anyway, from YouTube and tumblr comments, I was anticipating that the books would twist my stomach at how terrible and psychopathic Coriolanus would be. People kept saying in various clickbait articles that the movie adaptation "ruined" his character by not allowing the audience to see the internal, wicked machinations of Coriolanus from the narration.

To my surprise, that's not the case at all for me.

For reference, I've most recently paused at 9:21:24 in the audiobook. Coriolanus is dejected at the fact that Mr. Plinth didn't offer him money as a reward for saving Sejanus.

What I am noticing, rather than someone who was born broken and beyond help (as I find is the case with many 'psychopathic' people from true crime podcasts that I often listen to), I find that Coriolanus is someone who is deeply traumatized and trying to rationalize his way into the callousness of psychopathy/sociopathy/simple apathy, or whatever you want to call it.

(Another side-note to come back to: I was absolutely stunned and fascinated by the revelation that Dr. Gaul started out as a medical doctor in obstetrics. I wonder if the narrative will loop back around to that, because damn. I want to know if she started out as a sort of ~angel of death~ medical practitioner, as serial killers in the medical profession are often dubbed, or if something broke her about the war. I want to know!!! Btw broad strokes spoilers for things I haven't read yet don't bother me! But if no one tells me, I guess I'll find out if it comes up again.)

Tigris, of course, seems to see the best in people, but more than once she has commented on how from her perspective Coriolanus wouldn't hurt a fly as a child. She seems to have admired his mother and disliked his father, and she is trying to encourage him to be the best version of himself.

Even back in the original trilogy, I notice that Collins seems to use parents less as full people than as humanoid Symbols for different influences of society. Katniss and Peeta's mothers are the most human-seeming of the parents, but even they exist as sorts of dichotomies and push-pull between two different aspects of society and their overlap through love triangles and disappointed desires. Katniss's mother is a pretty good image of depression and abuse-by-neglect-without-malice, which is a complex human condition, but the way the narratives treat them makes them seem more distant than the younger characters.

If we take it that Tigris isn't totally making up any innate reluctance toward harm that one might consider "good" or even "natural" in people before they are pushed to their breaking points, and I think we should assume that because of Coriolanus's own internal struggles with himself, then I do not see a boy/young man who does not care about other people, either on the macro level or the interpersonal level.

It is striking to me that Tigris and Coriolanus and others frequently use the world "children" when talking about the Capitol teenagers, and sometimes about the District "kids," but the teenagers -- even in the Capitol -- have some degree of adult responsibility placed on their shoulders. Well, I guess that's mostly true for Coriolanus due to his lack of parents and experience of poverty. However, it is still strange that this is juxtaposed with the way someone like Lucy Gray obviously isn't seen as a child, particularly by Coriolanus's grandmother. There is the ongoing suggestion that, especially as women, Lucy Gray and/or Tigris may have needed to engage in some sort of sex work to survive, though this is never made explicit. Furthermore, Grandma'am specifically says that Lucy Gray hasn't been a child for a long time. Furthermore, I think the weight of Lucy Gray using the word "lover" to refer to her past with Billy Taupe is intended to drive this reality home without ever needing to spell it out in black and white.

Coriolanus tries to think of himself as a child when he is in a state of high distress. Furthermore, he often thinks of his classmates' calling out for or waiting for their parents in times of need. Something he cannot do.

Coriolanus demonstrates a capable intellect, and he has been using it to mask poverty, suffering, and disadvantage for most of his life. However, he seems to genuinely care for most of his classmates as friends.

When I read others' meta analyses of the book or others comparisons of the book to the movie, I was expecting that Coriolanus would be someone who was unable to view other people as real people. I was expecting to read about someone who struggled to convince themselves that they had the emotions that are experienced by others. Someone who was, as I said earlier, born broken.

That is not what I find at all.

Instead, as I think I've read in other posts, Coriolanus reminds me a little bit of Katniss. They are both people who are dealing with dissociation and suspicion toward other people as the result of trauma, post-traumatic stress, and a lack of the safety nets that others may take for granted even in the midst of poverty and deprivation.

Of course, knowing how it ends, Coriolanus finally finds a way to "let the dark side win," or whatever. The devil of Dr. Gaul talking into his ear about the nature of humanity is something that he finally comes to embrace. I haven't gotten there yet.

But the thing is, Coriolanus's callous nature most demonstrates itself in the way that he views Sejanus. He calls his demonstrations of "civility" toward Sejanus just that and nothing more. It is obvious that he does this because he resents certain things about who Sejanus is. However, he has been taught to resent the fact that he is from the Districts and rising above his station while Coriolanus's family is falling from their birthright of grace.

What I feel there is an undercurrent of, however, is that Coriolanus distances himself from Sejanus with his rational mind while his emotions tend to cause himself to align himself with Sejanus. This is not a particular statement of shippy feelings, though I don't blame people who see it that way, and if you can use my thoughts to further your shipping manifesto/justification, knock yourselves out!

I was just really stricken with how Coriolanus handled the realization that everything Sejanus chooses to do, even things Coriolanus things are embarrassing, risky, and dangerous, are motivated by doing the right thing.

Early on in the book, Coriolanus indicates that he began to treat Sejanus with civility because it was beneath the dignity of a Snow to treat him as lesser and with disdain simply because he was from the Districts. However, later in the book, it is obvious that Coriolanus's father would not have held the same sentiment. His father was a "District-hating" man, and even with his spotty memories of his father, he is aware of this description as part of his character.

Rather, it seems like Sejanus is the stage for Coriolanus's internal morality play.

He is drawn to doing the right thing. He enjoys the shining silver lining that people could want to be good, even when it doesn't benefit them. Even when choosing to be good would disadvantage them. However, he is terrified of his prospect because the veil of seeming to be more privileged than he is is like a form of armor for Coriolanus.

Drawing back to the parallels between Katniss and Coriolanus, I remember that Katniss went to great lengths to mask her mother's neglect because, apparently, even out in District 12 there was something like social services that may have taken Katniss and Prim away from their mother had the neglect and starvation been apparent enough. However, Katniss considered the Capitol's administration of "child protection" to have been worse than remaining in the Seam and dealing with living on the knife's edge of poverty and starvation on her own.

Coriolanus is much the same, even in a less obviously dangerous position. In fact, his motivation to hide the danger he is in is even greater because he has "more to lose" in some ways. Not only would be lose his position in society and access to food and opportunity for a better life, but he would also lose his sense of identity. In some ways, it's hard to say which one is worse. Katniss, on the other hand, has a hard time defining her sense of self and self worth, but that's a different post.

In some ways, Sejanus's opportunities and the idea that he is "replacing" Coriolanus in terms of station in society is a natural source of envy for Coriolanus. However, he rarely directly acknowledges this envy. Rather, he tries to find ways to pity Sejanus without allowing (or admitting?) any sense of emotional attachment to him.

But, as the saying goes, sometimes actions speak louder than words.

It seems to me that Coriolanus is, at least thus far in the book, drawn into acting in ways that align himself morally with Sejanus. However, he resents this, because his life thus far has taught him the propaganda of the Capitol about the people of the Districts and the cold pragmatism that, in theory, best assures survival. He resents how opening up toward other people, especially people like Sejanus, makes him vulnerable.

People, especially traumatized people, hate being vulnerable.

But Sejanus is like the siren song of having a less Hobbesian view of human nature. Sejanus represents the belief that treating other humans with dignity and decency is the baseline for a functioning society. He holds this view openly while people like Highbottom can only suggest this in ways that confuse and anger Coriolanus because he perceives their presentation as a resentment of and threat toward him.

Again, actions speak louder than words.

Another thing that makes me think this is an accurate reading of what Coriolanus is going through is the way he participates in Sejanus's laughter when he is sent in to get him in the Arena. Of course, Coriolanus has plenty of internal justifications for why he is doing what he is doing. He is, of course, motivated to survive. He is making pragmatic decisions that Sejanus himself refuses to make. Given the chance, he wouldn't have gone in after him, because Coriolanus is, at minimum at this point, not as good a person as Sejanus is (though I could write more on how guilt and self-destruction are not necessarily demonstrations of moral character). It is not necessarily evil not to be totally self-sacrificial. However, when he is given no choice but to go in and do this, he doesn't take the quickest path of least resistance. He rationalizes his way through it, as he's trying to rationalize his way through everything, but when Sejanus comments on how Coriolanus can't stop saving him, he laughs.

There is no narrative detail to indicate that this is a forced laugh or a calculated response, as so many of Coriolanus's demonstrations of emotion or lack thereof are. Instead, he laughs, and it's just a description of basic action, and this indicates that, perhaps, he is not being honest with himself about who or what Sejanus is to him, rather than that we should take it as absolute truth that he does not care about him at this point in the narrative.

I could be proven wrong by finishing the book, but as I said... actions sometimes speak louder than words.

Plans

Dec. 2nd, 2019 02:22 pm
prixmium: (rose tyler - series 1 pink)
So I have been planning to start writing some meta posts for fun. I had actually started a project on doing this with some illusions of creating a sort of portfolio of analytical writing that wasn't all mixed in with posts on random topics and of varying quality. I thought I could use this as something to show people in freelance writing communities. However, I am not really sure I would ever actually do that enough to make it worth trying.

Nevertheless, I already mentioned that I had the [tumblr.com profile] prixmiumcontent account and got some nice feedback.

This weekend, basically the most personally satisfying thing I managed to do was revise the three meta posts I had already written there and post a housekeeping post indicating that I sort of plan on continuing it with a different mindset.

I also want to do something like [personal profile] wheatear's 30 Days of Meta. I just need to make my own list. If I do a lot of original meta posts here, I might f-lock them if I think there is any chance of ever pitching a similar thing to some website that pays people for fannish articles. I highly doubt that will happen, though?
prixmium: (tardis)
So, in all this thinking about social media presence and the act of consuming versus engaging with content*, I have been sort of thinking about my way forward in trying to feel content with my online presence. [personal profile] kara_mckay gave me a pillowfort invitation key! And there is absolutely nothing on my page yet, but here it is: https://www.pillowfort.social/somenewdisaster

(*Thank you for such a good response to that! It is really encouraging about Dreamwidth as a platform to get a robust response to a post. It is easy to forget what that feels like on some of the more "modern" socmed sites, so it just makes me all the more determined to try to make continued presence here work.)

One thing I have noticed on pillowfort, and I am not sure if it is a bug or just a current necessity, is that you do have the option to change both your sort of divider color and your page background color, but when you are logged out the background color change doesn't show? I guess I'll try to ask somebody there when I start trying to do anything with it.

I have had another uneventful and slightly discouraging Saturday. I slept most of it away quite literally, and we are now into the wee hours of Sunday. Not that it matters very much as long as I can drag myself out of bed for work on Monday, but I always feel so energized late Friday evening. Then I come home and find myself unable to do everything that I intended to do, and so I do something else, and before I know it I have powered through past-midnight, and my body just collapses to recover. This morning was kind of weird. I awakened pretty soundly around 9:30 and I was awake and even did some laundry, but I went back to sleep around 11:00 until just before 3:00 P.M. It is weird how good my body clock has gotten here, because before I even looked at my phone I knew it had to be approaching 3:00. This meant that I didn't eat a bite of anything until 5:00, and this is how I always end up eating only one meal on the weekends.

Anyway, for all my frustration with this lack of work-life balance, today marks the two week countdown until I will be taking the arduous trek to the airport and boarding a plane back for America. I will be in transit for almost 24 hours. The flight to Atlanta from Narita is about 12-13 hours, and I have a six hour layover in Atlanta before boarding a plane back to my regional airport sometime around 10:00 P.M. local. The flight from ATL to TRI is only like 45 minutes which is just a weird experience.

The specific pleasant surprise I wanted to talk about was about response to meta-writing. About a year ago (according to xkit's timestamp), I started a sideblog on tumblr called [tumblr.com profile] prixmiumcontent where I intended to start writing frequent meta articles about stuff I was watching. I started, as I usually would, with Doctor Who and got three episodes in before the stark difference in the response I was getting to a gifset-per-episode and the meta posts themselves. It's hilarious honestly in how much it proves many points I have tried to make about modern social media. And right now, I only have Gimp to make gifs and it is just an altogether more difficult process than with Photoshop.

After the December 2018 tumblr TOS change, I basically just braced myself for the End of Tumblr. I made this account, and I started trying to resign myself to the notion that tumblr was not what I had once enjoyed and never would be again. The dream was dead. I archived my blog that I had used the entire time, and I used a utility someone had created to download my entire blog for fear of losing that time capsule of my life much like I lost most access to my various LiveJournals. (That file is hilariously huge and lives on an external harddrive. Not a bad idea, honestly, but it was a thing to do.) So this project fell by the wayside.

Earlier this year, when I saw that tumblr had, in fact, not toppled completely, I made a new account with the intention of lurking but being able to save things and post things from time to time. I wanted a smaller following and a smaller dash, and thus far I have achieved those goals, but the issue is that because so many people are clout-chasing and/or facing information overload, it is hard to find mutuals on tumblr anymore who engage in kind. The Fate/Type Moon fandom has always seemed kind of image-heavy and not very talkative, and when I got really into Good Omens I found interesting blogs to follow, but for all the fandom's talk of being really open and friendly and nice, I honestly have never experienced it on tumblr or twitter. I am not bad-mouthing anyone on tumblr, but I have experienced people on twitter being very exclusionary, reactionary, and probably some other -aries if you don't meet their exact definition of what progressive and far ENOUGH left is, by a constantly shifting definition. Again, I am not talking about the fandom as a whole but just... whatever it is, it doesn't want me to be active in it.

(I'm trying to get to the pleasant surprise, I swear.)

So after I made my new tumblr account, I remembered [tumblr.com profile] prixmiumcontent and, since it was a sideblog, went back into my old account and gave my new account admin and posting rights and all of that, too. The result of this is that while I have the tumblr app on my phone, I hardly ever do ANYTHING with the new-personal-blog I made there. This may or may not ever change. Sometimes I get the impulse that it is sad? But other times I feel like the detox being effective is pretty great. But this means that sometimes, phone apps being the little drug dealers that they are, tumblr's app tries to suck me back in. YOU HAVE NOTIFICATIONS. SO-AND-SO MADE A GREAT POST. WE NOTICED [X] IS YOUR FAVORITE BECAUSE YOU DON'T FOLLOW ANYONE ELSE. And so on. But the vast majority of my notifications are actually from the sideblog, and mostly reblogs of the gifsets I made for the first three episodes of Doctor Who.

But in the midst of all that, when I mistakenly tapped rather than cleared a tumblr-begging notifcation on my phone, I found this: https://chelnah-the-egghead.tumblr.com/post/189265229590/doctor-who-the-unquiet-dead-s01e03

It is so sweet. It is short and simple, and this is literally all the engagement I need to feel like I am not just screaming into a void when I try to make something for an audience rather than for myself alone. To be fair, when I write meta I am usually doing it in part for myself under the theory that reading blog entries will be faster than binging a series again when I want to reference stuff for fanfic more quickly than a month from now.

Anyway, I think I may try to cross-post these meta posts and continue to use this sideblog in that case? I am not sure yet, but it is at least encouraging that someone finds it interesting.
prixmium: (Default)
I mentioned that I've been watching Merlin lately. I'm up to The Moment of Truth, and the previous two episodes The Beginning of the End and Excalibur seem rather stark and bleak in retrospect. I haven't ever finished S4, I think, and I know I didn't finish S5. However, I know that there was an outcry about the end of the series. I came across a blog post that I didn't read but which I'd like to about how the final episode made someone feel so betrayed that they subsequently avoided anything with the same creative team despite liking the show overall. That blog post was fairly recent, in fact, as it seems that numerous people have revisited it which is interesting. It is cheesy and more like a highly-produced play than a tv show at times, but now that I am nearing the end of S1 it is obvious that the continually put more effort into it.

I realize that it had a disappointing ending, but upon revisiting S1 I kind of wonder if it wasn't easy to see coming. I think that this show was kind of meant to end in tragedy with a silver lining from the beginning, and often people aren't willing to accept that. By the time I get to the end of it, presuming I do, I may be mad, too, but I feel like it will be more for characterization failures and missed opportunities than the tragic end in and of itself. I think that people may be offended b the tragic end because of some kind of mixed signaling that wasn't a simple teeter-totter between whether or not they could subvert terrible events of change their fates. Just like with Morgana, I think that the show was very unwilling to commit to a stance that allowed for the audience to read ambiguity and nuance for themselves. It's such a simple show that I feel like they wanted to continually present certain things as true: in the end, most of them will be okay, even though occasionally people aren't. And I think that people may have felt a sense of whiplash because of a lack of integrity in the way it was presented rather than the writing, exactly?

I'm not sure, but I think that if one looks at the two episodes I mentioned that it sort of seems that way. First, we have the Dragon saying that if Mordred lives that Merlin will be unable to fulfill his destiny of protecting Arthur. Merlin waffles on whether or not to let the forces already at work around him take their course and allow Mordred to be executed. However, the expectations of Arthur and Morgana and Mordred's own telepathic pleas for his life finally make Merlin cave. I really enjoyed that episode because of how they worked with the key cast of players being younger. Even in that era, Morgana and Arthur are too young for Mordred to be their child, but he sort of becomes something that was conceived of their shared affection and sense of responsibility and so on anyway. It also is a great way to establish a sort of unspoken bond between Merlin and Morgana, and even moreso between Morgana and Mordred. It is one of the first episodes when the show stops feeling quite so silly and more like something with some teeth now and then. But Mordred escapes death, and we are left with the knowledge that this probably shouldn't have happened no matter how cute a child he seems to be.

Then, in the following episode, Excalibur is formed. I love the way they handled Excalibur being formed in this series - the fact that it came from Gwen and her father. In this series, they are common people, and it seems thematically to go with both future Arthur/Gwen as it stands and what Arthur is supposed to become as a ruler that Uther is not. The same goes with the way Merlin takes it to be influenced by otherworldly power through having the Dragon burnish it. However, when the Dragon burnishes the sword, he absolutely insists that it must only ever be used by Arthur and Arthur alone or something bad will happen. He's not really clear about the specifics of it, but it seems that the outcome is pretty clear.

Because Uther is a complex person in spite of being someone I overall hate as he is in the series' present-day, he begins to feel that he must sacrifice himself for Arthur. Nimueh all but agrees to the notion that if Uther dies that she will stop being such a problem for the rest of Camelot. She views it as justice, given how he cast her out and killed so many of her loved ones. I think that basically it is as if Uther was "supposed" to die in that episode immediately after Arthur having become Crown Prince. Because Merlin could not find a way to prevent Uther from seeing and subsequently using Excalibur, however, he didn't. Then, as the series progresses, Merlin becomes more and more blinded by his affection for Arthur and his concern about whether or not he is "ready" to be King. He protects Uther even when Uther does not deserve his protection and is a tyrant with genocidal intent because he happens to be a tyrant who loves his son and whose son loves him back. If Uther had died in S1, then they would have stood a much better chance of things not going quite so terribly in the end, even though Uther is eventually dispatched.

Just some thoughts.

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