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I've done three online interviews for teaching positions, one in North Carolina and two here in Tennessee. The first one for a Tennessee position was me talking way too much, but the second one went a bit better, I think. It's still difficult for me to have much faith that any of them will go anywhere.
In fact, I'm a bit uncertain as to how I want things to go.
There is an itch in my soul to go back to Japan as soon as it is possible and open again, but that won't happen until at least next year. In the meantime, I need an income.
I fret about the possibility of getting a full-time teaching position locking me into a walk of life that I do not know if I'm ready for. On the one hand, I am emotionally exhausted from not having anything in the first place, and it's looking like I will need to move to get anything much anyway. If I am going to move, I wish I could move to a place I think I would actually like. But then again, if I am renewed after this coming school year, it's very likely that it would be financially shooting myself in the foot to go back to doing TEFL right away. Especially with the company that I worked for, I loved the flexibility of the three month contracts given that I do still have my dad here. But I just can't live on only working six months out of the year, however much I might wish it so.
I spent tonight feeling restless and half wanting to sleep and half wanting to be creative.
I ended up watching some videos by a social media person named Rebecca Felgate. She used to be a host on a clickbait-y channel called Most Amazing Top 10 that I watch as background noise quite often. I came across the fact that she had left the channel in a clip they played, and I started looking into when and why she had gone away because I really liked her. It was interesting to hear her talk about her pivot and her argument against being A YouTuber specifically.
Prior to the pandemic, I had purchased a microphone and a ring light with the intention of making some youtube type videos in my spare time. I put a little bit of work into it, but then when I started having nothing BUT free time and moved back home to my parents' house from the parsonage where I had been staying for work, I just completely lost the space, mentally and physically, to do anything like that. And it has become abundantly clear to me that I cannot work with not so much as an externally imposed deadline. The idea that I could be my own boss scares me more than it comforts me.
That said, I have put a lot of time into learning about story structure and stuff. In a way, I wish I could find a way to monetize some creativity which might, in turn, make me feel like less of a sham for wanting to be creative. But I know that my creativity is always going to be primarily fandom-based, so it just seems like a dead end.
I really wish I knew the right way forward, but I have this gut feeling that - like most things in my life - the way this is going to happen is not through choice but through the only available option revealing itself at some point.
In fact, I'm a bit uncertain as to how I want things to go.
There is an itch in my soul to go back to Japan as soon as it is possible and open again, but that won't happen until at least next year. In the meantime, I need an income.
I fret about the possibility of getting a full-time teaching position locking me into a walk of life that I do not know if I'm ready for. On the one hand, I am emotionally exhausted from not having anything in the first place, and it's looking like I will need to move to get anything much anyway. If I am going to move, I wish I could move to a place I think I would actually like. But then again, if I am renewed after this coming school year, it's very likely that it would be financially shooting myself in the foot to go back to doing TEFL right away. Especially with the company that I worked for, I loved the flexibility of the three month contracts given that I do still have my dad here. But I just can't live on only working six months out of the year, however much I might wish it so.
I spent tonight feeling restless and half wanting to sleep and half wanting to be creative.
I ended up watching some videos by a social media person named Rebecca Felgate. She used to be a host on a clickbait-y channel called Most Amazing Top 10 that I watch as background noise quite often. I came across the fact that she had left the channel in a clip they played, and I started looking into when and why she had gone away because I really liked her. It was interesting to hear her talk about her pivot and her argument against being A YouTuber specifically.
Prior to the pandemic, I had purchased a microphone and a ring light with the intention of making some youtube type videos in my spare time. I put a little bit of work into it, but then when I started having nothing BUT free time and moved back home to my parents' house from the parsonage where I had been staying for work, I just completely lost the space, mentally and physically, to do anything like that. And it has become abundantly clear to me that I cannot work with not so much as an externally imposed deadline. The idea that I could be my own boss scares me more than it comforts me.
That said, I have put a lot of time into learning about story structure and stuff. In a way, I wish I could find a way to monetize some creativity which might, in turn, make me feel like less of a sham for wanting to be creative. But I know that my creativity is always going to be primarily fandom-based, so it just seems like a dead end.
I really wish I knew the right way forward, but I have this gut feeling that - like most things in my life - the way this is going to happen is not through choice but through the only available option revealing itself at some point.
