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I'm really glad it's over. I'm looking forward to seeing if anything improves with a Democratic majority House of Representatives, though I'm not holding my breath. I know that some people were much more directly impacted by how shitty this year was in terms of the real world and politics, but even from my position firmly hanging out on the periphery except for exercising my right and duty to vote, it has been exhausting.
I'm in the camp of feeling like this year was several epochs long. Black Panther came out this year? Dirty by Justin Timberlake? TSwift's obsession with her reputation??? No, that was the last century, surely.
For me some of that probably has to do with the fact that my "years" tend to be defined by school years due to working for schools. Still, though, I don't think I'm alone in it.
Certain things have improved for me a lot. My living situation has gone from soul-sucking to just kind of quiet and confusing. Since my last semester of undergrad, I've been one of the moved-back-home millennials. I really had nowhere to go, and the few times it looked like I might have income enough to move out, I didn't trust it nor see any reason to strike out on my own five miles away when it really didn't help me socially or financially. I honestly appreciate having my parents around and available... to a point.
I was probably wise in not trying to move out on my own, given how things have turned out. Anyway, even though I'm only making about $1,000 a month right now, if that, I am in a much better place than I was last school-year where I worked in one of the most inept administrations I've ever seen or heard of. I thought I just wasn't cut out for actually teaching, but nah. I think some of it was my inexperience, but a lot of it was that the school I worked for wanted all their teachers to be three people who practically lived at the school to have any support or respect whatsoever. The corruption and apathy and buck-passing went all the way down.
Working as an interim, I have slightly fewer responsibilities, full-time hours, but less... pay. It sucks in a way, but the county I'm working for is so, so much more responsible and caring and supportive and just nice. Add to that the fact that I'm getting to live in the church's parsonage rent-free because my dad finally has a pastorate and they're willing to support me trying to get a job over here without hemorrhaging money, and I really can't say how much worse things could be and better things have gotten.
I'm still... lonely, though. And I feel like that part is getting worse and doesn't have a lot of hope of getting better. I feel like certain things are shriveling away, and I worry about them. I worry about my future, or rather, the lack of ever having a "life of my own." I am living on a lot of people's good graces, and I hope that someday I actually have something to show for it and to give back. I don't want to be alone and lonely and isolated, in terms of peers or kids or any of that, forever.
I'm in the camp of feeling like this year was several epochs long. Black Panther came out this year? Dirty by Justin Timberlake? TSwift's obsession with her reputation??? No, that was the last century, surely.
For me some of that probably has to do with the fact that my "years" tend to be defined by school years due to working for schools. Still, though, I don't think I'm alone in it.
Certain things have improved for me a lot. My living situation has gone from soul-sucking to just kind of quiet and confusing. Since my last semester of undergrad, I've been one of the moved-back-home millennials. I really had nowhere to go, and the few times it looked like I might have income enough to move out, I didn't trust it nor see any reason to strike out on my own five miles away when it really didn't help me socially or financially. I honestly appreciate having my parents around and available... to a point.
I was probably wise in not trying to move out on my own, given how things have turned out. Anyway, even though I'm only making about $1,000 a month right now, if that, I am in a much better place than I was last school-year where I worked in one of the most inept administrations I've ever seen or heard of. I thought I just wasn't cut out for actually teaching, but nah. I think some of it was my inexperience, but a lot of it was that the school I worked for wanted all their teachers to be three people who practically lived at the school to have any support or respect whatsoever. The corruption and apathy and buck-passing went all the way down.
Working as an interim, I have slightly fewer responsibilities, full-time hours, but less... pay. It sucks in a way, but the county I'm working for is so, so much more responsible and caring and supportive and just nice. Add to that the fact that I'm getting to live in the church's parsonage rent-free because my dad finally has a pastorate and they're willing to support me trying to get a job over here without hemorrhaging money, and I really can't say how much worse things could be and better things have gotten.
I'm still... lonely, though. And I feel like that part is getting worse and doesn't have a lot of hope of getting better. I feel like certain things are shriveling away, and I worry about them. I worry about my future, or rather, the lack of ever having a "life of my own." I am living on a lot of people's good graces, and I hope that someday I actually have something to show for it and to give back. I don't want to be alone and lonely and isolated, in terms of peers or kids or any of that, forever.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-01 09:25 pm (UTC)From:I hope you find some more people and less loneliness this year!
no subject
Date: 2019-01-02 12:17 am (UTC)From: