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I should be asleep already and am not sure why I'm not except that I get strangely possessive of pain-free consciousness once a major headache passes. This may not be the most coherent post ever, but I would like to make a habit of coming here during these trying times.
Before the pandemic began to have an impact on local scheduling or anyone had really begun to process that it would have a nationwide impact in the US (because American exceptionalism), I was scheduled to do an interim teaching position from April 11th until May 13th. I worked for five days before the school let out in an effort to avoid large gatherings, etc. Tennessee trailed behind Virginia for about a week and used much looser language about it, but it eventually happened.
I got a text this morning that said that rather than possibly reopening on April 1 that we are now looking at April 27 as the earliest the schools might re-open.
Unfortunately, as a result of my being a substitute teacher who hadn't been in the interim position long enough for the teacher to run out of sick days, this basically means I get no income for the month of April at all. And I get it. I'm just exhausted with this happening over and over. And it has happened over and over to me.
And while I am somber about the impact of it on the planet as a whole and am blessed in a lot of ways, I guess what strikes me the most is how little this is any different from the same spring I had last year. Last year my father was healing from surgery, I was firming up plans to go to Japan, and I at least had a job. But before that I'd spent weeks at home and unemployed, too.
I'm feeling strangely homesick for Japan, though with things the way they are now, I doubt anyone is going anywhere for a long time yet. I want to be safe, and I want to do the right thing for other people. I just also don't really know what I am going to do about my credit card bill next month.
One thing about being home with my parents during this time that is sort of maddening is that we cannot go a day without several hours of CNN piping into the house. Thankfully my parents are reasonable enough to realize that Fox is nothing but a propaganda machine, so when my dad got a small digital cable package he got CNN instead, but they're both conservative people for the most part. It drives me crazy in many ways, but I know they're well-meaning. But damn, if the red scare doesn't have an impact to this very day. Some days my father will admit that Bernie Sanders might be the candidate who is best for my future, but between the "pro-life" issue and the fact that my parents have been taught all their lives that both communism and socialism are great evils, there is just no way they can actually support me not suffering under this financial weight forever and ever and ever and ever, as if Republicans give a damn about life, unborn or otherwise.
One of my friends recently mentioned that she felt like she might have to do like modern American ancestors' did and immigrate somewhere else to have any opportunity in life. And while she and I often have clashing lifestyle opinions, this particular phrase has really stuck with me lately. But who in the world even wants us [Americans who can't figure it out in our own country]?
The answer is, of course, SEA as English teachers if the world ever opens up again, I guess.
But yeah. My mother and I both just live in quarantine.
My mom literally lives a self-imposed quarantine.
And I just... go to work. Where I have no coworker friends who miss me right now or anything because I am always a temp. All I have here is my parents. And I don't know what to do, eventually, if I ever get the chance to decide again.
Before the pandemic began to have an impact on local scheduling or anyone had really begun to process that it would have a nationwide impact in the US (because American exceptionalism), I was scheduled to do an interim teaching position from April 11th until May 13th. I worked for five days before the school let out in an effort to avoid large gatherings, etc. Tennessee trailed behind Virginia for about a week and used much looser language about it, but it eventually happened.
I got a text this morning that said that rather than possibly reopening on April 1 that we are now looking at April 27 as the earliest the schools might re-open.
Unfortunately, as a result of my being a substitute teacher who hadn't been in the interim position long enough for the teacher to run out of sick days, this basically means I get no income for the month of April at all. And I get it. I'm just exhausted with this happening over and over. And it has happened over and over to me.
And while I am somber about the impact of it on the planet as a whole and am blessed in a lot of ways, I guess what strikes me the most is how little this is any different from the same spring I had last year. Last year my father was healing from surgery, I was firming up plans to go to Japan, and I at least had a job. But before that I'd spent weeks at home and unemployed, too.
I'm feeling strangely homesick for Japan, though with things the way they are now, I doubt anyone is going anywhere for a long time yet. I want to be safe, and I want to do the right thing for other people. I just also don't really know what I am going to do about my credit card bill next month.
One thing about being home with my parents during this time that is sort of maddening is that we cannot go a day without several hours of CNN piping into the house. Thankfully my parents are reasonable enough to realize that Fox is nothing but a propaganda machine, so when my dad got a small digital cable package he got CNN instead, but they're both conservative people for the most part. It drives me crazy in many ways, but I know they're well-meaning. But damn, if the red scare doesn't have an impact to this very day. Some days my father will admit that Bernie Sanders might be the candidate who is best for my future, but between the "pro-life" issue and the fact that my parents have been taught all their lives that both communism and socialism are great evils, there is just no way they can actually support me not suffering under this financial weight forever and ever and ever and ever, as if Republicans give a damn about life, unborn or otherwise.
One of my friends recently mentioned that she felt like she might have to do like modern American ancestors' did and immigrate somewhere else to have any opportunity in life. And while she and I often have clashing lifestyle opinions, this particular phrase has really stuck with me lately. But who in the world even wants us [Americans who can't figure it out in our own country]?
The answer is, of course, SEA as English teachers if the world ever opens up again, I guess.
But yeah. My mother and I both just live in quarantine.
My mom literally lives a self-imposed quarantine.
And I just... go to work. Where I have no coworker friends who miss me right now or anything because I am always a temp. All I have here is my parents. And I don't know what to do, eventually, if I ever get the chance to decide again.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-26 09:01 pm (UTC)From: