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Certain things are beginning to feel a little more normal or safe, but I can't help feeling that it's a false sense of security. I got the Johnson & Johnson vaccine sometime at the end of March or beginning of this month. Well over two weeks ago.
My dad got the Moderna vaccine, and he got his first dose like two or three weeks after recovering from the COVID infection he and I both had. The doctors at the VA told him his overall reaction to the vaccine might be worse because he'd recently had it. It's my understanding that for the two-dose vaccines that having had COVID recently may actually act like a "first dose." I'm glad he got the second one so as not to risk it, though.
We both had reactions to it later in the evening of the day of our respective shots. I was miserably feverish, but it only lasted the night. Then I dealt with some fatigue and other minor symptoms for a few days. However, I do think I may have had a blood clot in my arm as a result of the J&J vaccine!
Unfortunately because I felt like crap and was lazy, I didn't sign up for that daily update thing the CDC was doing, but I have been thinking about whether I should call someone and let them know for statistical purposes.
Basically, I had some injection site soreness but then I also had this sort of lump develop on my arm that was hot, sore, and hard about two or three inches below the injection site. It itched and was extremely sensitive to the touch and hard as a rock. I showed it to my dad, perplexed, and he was the one who suggested at the time that it might be a blood clot.
Seeing as I have no medical insurance or income, I generally avoid seeking medical attention unless it's a last resort. I went and took an aspirin and went to sleep for a while, and when I awakened, the lump was basically gone??? And it had been there for several hours before taking the aspirin. Really makes me wonder.
After that, I got what I think was a bruise on my leg within the past week, and it made me wonder again, because I'm paranoid now. However, it is important to remember that birth control pills have some incidence of blood clots, especially in the legs, higher than the J&J vaccine has so far exhibited. There's a risk to everything, and people often aren't even informed of them because it's just considered a given that women (people with uteri but this is referring to societal stereotypes) need to be on birth control.
I actually do because of my PCOS, which makes me wonder if I was at higher risk.
But so far, I seem to be getting along okay.
Mother's Day is coming up here in the US. I have never been particularly good at holiday observance -- an inherited trait, it would seem. But my mom always felt a little slighted if I completely forgot about Mother's Day, though she was certainly not a diva about it.
It's a bit difficult to go to the store and see all the Mother's Day reminders and gifts and stuff out and realize that I don't have a mother anymore. At least not in this life.
Other things that are difficult are hearing something I think she'd find interesting or have insight about but not being able to bring it up with her.
My faith and especially her faith bring me peace that she is at peace, but I really miss her It's like missing her didn't really set in fully at first. I guess there's the shock to the system and the relief and the fact that I was sick almost right after, but it's only been for the past month or so that it really churns my guts sometimes.
I would like to use this platform more. I've talked about it before, so I won't go into great detail, but the Big Three socmeds are kind of driving me crazy right now when I try to use them. I'm getting to where I'm not quite as addicted to twitter at the moment, so I am hoping to make some online habit-changes even if I don't swear anything off. If I use one of the Big Three, I would like to go back to using tumblr a bit more, I think.
And I would also like to use this, because it encourages keeping a record of one's thoughts. Sometimes, having a record like this is one of the few things that gives a sense of continuity of self. That's something I find twitter useless for or even actively counterproductive toward.
I've been working on Stings, a Kara no Kyoukai and Fate/Zero fanfic I started back in 2016. Given that KnK is one of the less-popular parts of Type Moon with Fate eclipsing everything, it's been hard to get eyeballs on it. In turn, it's been hard for me to write without letting my rejection sensitive dysphoria kick in.
Speaking of RSD, I really want to do the formal diagnostic for ADHD and, if it turns out, take it to my doctor to talk about maybe trying something like Concerta instead of an antidepressant for a while. I'm afraid he will balk at self-diagnosis, but I also feel that he won't have the time or patience to do all of the diagnostic stuff himself if I don't come having done some homework??? And I don't wanna spend $80 at minimum for nothing.
Concerta is the only ADHD medication that I know of that's legal in Japan. They're really serious about not letting amphetamines in of any kind.
I don't know if I'll get to go back to Japan at this point, but it seems as likely a possibility as any for me to ever have a job again.
My dad got the Moderna vaccine, and he got his first dose like two or three weeks after recovering from the COVID infection he and I both had. The doctors at the VA told him his overall reaction to the vaccine might be worse because he'd recently had it. It's my understanding that for the two-dose vaccines that having had COVID recently may actually act like a "first dose." I'm glad he got the second one so as not to risk it, though.
We both had reactions to it later in the evening of the day of our respective shots. I was miserably feverish, but it only lasted the night. Then I dealt with some fatigue and other minor symptoms for a few days. However, I do think I may have had a blood clot in my arm as a result of the J&J vaccine!
Unfortunately because I felt like crap and was lazy, I didn't sign up for that daily update thing the CDC was doing, but I have been thinking about whether I should call someone and let them know for statistical purposes.
Basically, I had some injection site soreness but then I also had this sort of lump develop on my arm that was hot, sore, and hard about two or three inches below the injection site. It itched and was extremely sensitive to the touch and hard as a rock. I showed it to my dad, perplexed, and he was the one who suggested at the time that it might be a blood clot.
Seeing as I have no medical insurance or income, I generally avoid seeking medical attention unless it's a last resort. I went and took an aspirin and went to sleep for a while, and when I awakened, the lump was basically gone??? And it had been there for several hours before taking the aspirin. Really makes me wonder.
After that, I got what I think was a bruise on my leg within the past week, and it made me wonder again, because I'm paranoid now. However, it is important to remember that birth control pills have some incidence of blood clots, especially in the legs, higher than the J&J vaccine has so far exhibited. There's a risk to everything, and people often aren't even informed of them because it's just considered a given that women (people with uteri but this is referring to societal stereotypes) need to be on birth control.
I actually do because of my PCOS, which makes me wonder if I was at higher risk.
But so far, I seem to be getting along okay.
Mother's Day is coming up here in the US. I have never been particularly good at holiday observance -- an inherited trait, it would seem. But my mom always felt a little slighted if I completely forgot about Mother's Day, though she was certainly not a diva about it.
It's a bit difficult to go to the store and see all the Mother's Day reminders and gifts and stuff out and realize that I don't have a mother anymore. At least not in this life.
Other things that are difficult are hearing something I think she'd find interesting or have insight about but not being able to bring it up with her.
My faith and especially her faith bring me peace that she is at peace, but I really miss her It's like missing her didn't really set in fully at first. I guess there's the shock to the system and the relief and the fact that I was sick almost right after, but it's only been for the past month or so that it really churns my guts sometimes.
I would like to use this platform more. I've talked about it before, so I won't go into great detail, but the Big Three socmeds are kind of driving me crazy right now when I try to use them. I'm getting to where I'm not quite as addicted to twitter at the moment, so I am hoping to make some online habit-changes even if I don't swear anything off. If I use one of the Big Three, I would like to go back to using tumblr a bit more, I think.
And I would also like to use this, because it encourages keeping a record of one's thoughts. Sometimes, having a record like this is one of the few things that gives a sense of continuity of self. That's something I find twitter useless for or even actively counterproductive toward.
I've been working on Stings, a Kara no Kyoukai and Fate/Zero fanfic I started back in 2016. Given that KnK is one of the less-popular parts of Type Moon with Fate eclipsing everything, it's been hard to get eyeballs on it. In turn, it's been hard for me to write without letting my rejection sensitive dysphoria kick in.
Speaking of RSD, I really want to do the formal diagnostic for ADHD and, if it turns out, take it to my doctor to talk about maybe trying something like Concerta instead of an antidepressant for a while. I'm afraid he will balk at self-diagnosis, but I also feel that he won't have the time or patience to do all of the diagnostic stuff himself if I don't come having done some homework??? And I don't wanna spend $80 at minimum for nothing.
Concerta is the only ADHD medication that I know of that's legal in Japan. They're really serious about not letting amphetamines in of any kind.
I don't know if I'll get to go back to Japan at this point, but it seems as likely a possibility as any for me to ever have a job again.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-23 10:20 pm (UTC)From:Yeah, an expat friend of mine has attention issues, and discovered Adderall worked, and then discovered she can't get it in Japan and it's a bad idea to try to sneak it in.
I've been using Facebook and increasingly Twitter for "share links" (usually found ON FB or Twitter) but I mostly write stuff here.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-24 12:37 pm (UTC)From:Thankfully, it seems to have worked, but since people have been getting more nervous about the J&J vaccine, I'm trying to be reasonable but wondered if my birth control pills + the J&J medicine might've done something. Though come to think of it, I think I was still off my b.c. at the time. Hmmm.
And OH YEAH, Adderall can get you put in prison. Apparently they have Ritalin in Japan, but it's only used for sleep disorders and is not prescribed for ADD.
I guess I just wish my regular friends (online, don't have any IRLs) would use this platform or something, because I feel pulled back to twitter because that's where they are. But then when I don't use it much, I feel like I almost disappear, so then I almost wonder if we're as good of friends as I imagine.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-24 05:03 am (UTC)From:The Big Three are much more inclined to be addictive than DW, that's for sure :/ And much less geared towards creating a record, I agree. It's all very fleeting and... immediate? No real depth is encouraged, be it in relationships or thought.
I think it's common for the long grief to be a rougher process than the immediate one - when you start to really grasp the absence in your normal pattern. Condolences; it may be a fact of life, but it's still a very hard one <3
no subject
Date: 2021-04-24 12:45 pm (UTC)From:The big three are DESIGNED to be addictive. Again, I say, tumblr less-so than the rest, because I think it had a different motive in its original design, and the newer owners' efforts to change it to be like the other two have been slightly less successful. tumblr is also nice in that it still has a fair amount of active users but a lot migrated to twitter and elsewhere. However, I do resent their capitulation to app-store mandated censorship that is very cynical and anti-moderation.
And thank you very much. I guess it really puts into relief that my life locally has really revolved around my parents. I still have my dad, but he has things like his work, his ministry, and his golfing habit. I just... don't really have anything beyond going to church once a week, which I find fulfilling in a certain way, but as a social outlet it's not really that much because I'm younger or have a considerably different lifestyle than the members there.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-25 01:52 am (UTC)From:Hm, I found Tumblr still had the classic addictive qualities - catered towards quick content delivery that you don't have to take time and sit with, endless scrolling, the seductive numbers game, an avenue to becoming a 'big name'. That said, it does seem much quieter and calmer these days.
It obviously doesn't help that covid has made it so difficult to get involved in communities :( Hopefully that turns around in the near future.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-24 09:21 am (UTC)From:Birth control pills have almost no effect on trombolitic events (blood cloths), but the higher incidence for people who are on birth control, is mostly due to the fact that they are being monitored more closely. So you can mostly ignore that.
> Unfortunately because I felt like crap and was lazy, I didn't sign up for that daily update thing the CDC was doing, but I have been thinking about whether I should call someone and let them know for statistical purposes.
In the Netherlands there's a website where you can enter side effects for any medicine or vaccine you get. Even if you just think it's a side effect and you're not sure, you can enter it. Then the people at the "Side Effects Centre" will analyze if it's really a side effect, because many people are reporting it, or if you're the only one reporting it.
What you describe sounds almost certainly like a trombolitic event (a blood clot), so I'd definitely call your GP/the CDC/whoever gave you the vaccine.
Bruises and blood clots show up in the same way on the skin (so a bruise can look like a blood clot and the other way around). However, it's hard to differentiate between a bruise/blood clot and a (regular) skin rash by sight alone, because skin rashes can also look the same. However, there is a simple test you can perform at home to differentiate between bruises/blood cloths and skin rashes (they can all look the same): Take a piece of uncoloured transparent glass (if the spot is small enough, you can use regular glasses as well) and push the flat surface onto your skin at the spot of the bruise. Normal skin will turn white when you apply the pressure across the surface, and normal skin rashes will become invisible. However, blood cloths/bruises will stay the same colour and keep the same shape, even if you apply pressure. This man demonstrates it around 18:00 minutes into the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_-8uTslpfQ .
no subject
Date: 2021-04-24 12:33 pm (UTC)From:I did look at the paper they gave me when I was cleaning out my car, but I don't think they had anything to report it after the incident. At the time, I was just trying to deal with the symptom, and I took an aspirin at the suggestion that it might be a blood clot, which did make it go away.
Being an American with no job or income, I don't really seek medical care very often, so this was an at-home sort of dealing with it.
Whatever this was, it was raised and sort of oval and a bit below the injection site. Hard as a rock and sore and tingly. And aspirin got rid of it. Obviously, I can't test it now that it's long gone.
Thank you for the info, though! I will eventually look and see if the CDC has anything set up to report after the fact, but it seems unlikely?
no subject
Date: 2021-04-26 07:28 pm (UTC)From:https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/reporting-systems.html I'd guess "V-safe" and/or "VAERS" apply.
<3
Date: 2021-04-25 08:07 pm (UTC)From: