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I should sleep sometime before daylight tonight in spite of how much my body loves to sleep in stupid shifts that keep me on this terrible schedule.
Tomorrow (today, whatever) I have to go to my cousin's baby's second birthday party. It's outside and I've been vaccinated for months. I want to hope they are too, but if they're not then that's something they're doing to themselves. It's the first "social event" I've been to in like two years other than eating with one or two other individuals in their homes recently.
I kind of dread seeing any of my relatives. I always feel like I don't fit anywhere. I feel forever-alienated from my mom's side of the family, and my dad's "side" is extremely small. The cousin is on dad's side. There is some weird history there, but I think that she is fairly grown-up. I still hope that it doesn't start being a thing about how I'm neither married nor working nor a mom yet.
Hopefully we can just love on the baby, eat food, and go home.
I haven't actually met the kid before, either. Even pre-2020 I had extremely little contact with anyone locally, including relatives.
I have been playing Stardew Valley a lot again. It's some kind of calming activity for the most part.
I decided to have a look at the first page of AO3 results for it again. It's always fun to see what kind of absolutely extremely far apart ideas people come up with. I found a couple I wanna read, but the most interesting is like 400k. That's not a typo.
I envy people who can write with that kind of tenacity, but I bet they're in their early 20s.
I kind of want to write but I don't want to be up all night.
I have a few exchange fics going, but I also wish I could write and post something that would get some feedback before then. I need the push. The last thing I posted, a fic about Carver Hawke, hasn't gotten a lot of attention though the attention it did get was positive.
Anyway, that's where I'm at tonight.
Tomorrow (today, whatever) I have to go to my cousin's baby's second birthday party. It's outside and I've been vaccinated for months. I want to hope they are too, but if they're not then that's something they're doing to themselves. It's the first "social event" I've been to in like two years other than eating with one or two other individuals in their homes recently.
I kind of dread seeing any of my relatives. I always feel like I don't fit anywhere. I feel forever-alienated from my mom's side of the family, and my dad's "side" is extremely small. The cousin is on dad's side. There is some weird history there, but I think that she is fairly grown-up. I still hope that it doesn't start being a thing about how I'm neither married nor working nor a mom yet.
Hopefully we can just love on the baby, eat food, and go home.
I haven't actually met the kid before, either. Even pre-2020 I had extremely little contact with anyone locally, including relatives.
I have been playing Stardew Valley a lot again. It's some kind of calming activity for the most part.
I decided to have a look at the first page of AO3 results for it again. It's always fun to see what kind of absolutely extremely far apart ideas people come up with. I found a couple I wanna read, but the most interesting is like 400k. That's not a typo.
I envy people who can write with that kind of tenacity, but I bet they're in their early 20s.
I kind of want to write but I don't want to be up all night.
I have a few exchange fics going, but I also wish I could write and post something that would get some feedback before then. I need the push. The last thing I posted, a fic about Carver Hawke, hasn't gotten a lot of attention though the attention it did get was positive.
Anyway, that's where I'm at tonight.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-19 09:07 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2021-08-23 01:21 am (UTC)From:Life has sorta come at me fast since then, but yeah, it wasn't anything to worry about.