Sep. 17th, 2024

prixmium: (Default)
My job interview this past Friday went well as far as I know. I believe that they are planning to have me interview directly with the school in October. Another blessing is that this school has one weekday off and has Saturday school instead which means that I will be able to go to this interview in Tokyo without needing an excuse or a day off from my current job.

At the current job, most things are going well. However, my boss still finds a way to use a tone with me that sometimes sends my anxiety spiraling. Plus, I can't even tell if it is really there or not. I mean, she's fluent in a second language, so how am I to know if certain tone usage is meant tobe read the way my nervous system is reading it? I don't know if my gut is to be trusted in this case or not.

In any case, I think I will be much happier in a job where I'm less micro-managed. It's not a lot of micro-managing, but it's enough. I want to be in a job where I am given more reliable, consistent responsibilities, and by extension a little more freedom. Either way, even if the job I'm hoping to go to is just as stressful, I'll still be getting paid a fair bit more and getting at least as much time off if not more.

One thing I wanted to vent about, though, is something that my boss is occasionally guilty of but that I have noticed throughout my professional acquaintanceship with anyone. Especially above a certain age, most people have kids, are married, or both. They may have extended family and grandchildren.

I don't have those things yet. I'm not sure I ever will. But it drives me fucking crazy when people who have children and grandchildren act like single people who don't are both lazy and should be picking up the slack for others in that regard. Like, it isn't my fault if you have worked your way into a lifestyle where only 5 hours of sleep is possible regularly. There are reasons that I don't have an extended family circle, and part of it is that I actually have to sleep a pretty significant amount of time, at least every other night, to function. We're talking 9 or more hours, at least every other night. And that isn't me being lazy. That's me trying to be responsible so I'll show up on time to work and put in good work. Sometimes, that means I can only have work.

I've been trying my best to do better about that. But it absolutely sets me off when I sometimes get this inkling of an attitude from my boss or anyone else that I'm just lazy because I don't torture myself the way she does to be obligated to family.

Sometimes I wish I had a partner and/or kids, but I don't even have the energy to manage pets on my own.

March 2025

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