prixmium | Bowing out and redirecting my energy

So, tomorrow morning was supposed to be my in-person meeting and second interview with the international school. It was going to be hellish to push through and do it, because I had to go to the Kanuma Autumn Festival and another woman who's closer to my age. I was really glad to meet the latter. Anyway, it meant that I couldn't go tonight and spend the night in Tokyo which would have made the interview reasonable to do.

I was still going to do it and accept a hellishly long and kind of miserable wet rat sort of day.

But then, over the past month or so, I have come to the conclusion that it is best for me to focus my energy on trying to work with the Canadian immigration firm and go to my best friend so we can be each other's family and support system.

And even if it doesn't work out, the next-best thing is to go back to my dad and - however uncomfortable it might be with my stepmom - crash-land there long enough to find a job in the area that's close enough for me to not be completely on my own. And, in the eventuality tat my father passes away, I'll get something in the way of inheritance but not very much. But it will be a lot easier to use it in America or Canada.

The exchange rate of the yen being 0.6-0.7 of a US cent is miserable. When I was here a few years ago it was .9 something. (Forgive me if this is the wrong way to express this math. I'm bad at math.)

But anyway, I sent an email when I got home tonight trying to respectfully ask to reschedule this interview. I should have refused to do it on this day in the first place, because I do have to be in Tokyo but for the purposes of a training that my boss has asked me to attend.

I'm a lot more emotionally at peace with my job and my boss lately, and part of it is knowing that it's not indefinite. The absolute longest I would stay is two years, but in all likelihood, I'm going to be telling her that I'm going home after a year soon. And it's a lot easier for me to stomach that than telling her I'm going to a better job in Tokyo, even though either is technically fine.

Doing the math of what 400,000 yen a month really is in USD made me realize that even if it's a really nice living here, it might be pigeon-holing myself into a life that I don't really want. I thought I did, because I thought it was the best I could do for myself. But now, thinking about having my People closer to me long-term as a real possibility, I think it was good for me to do this but that long-term, I won't be satisfied here.

I just really hope I am not making a mistake.

Plus, if this school doesn't want to reschedule a meeting/interview, when they're going to be there anyway tomorrow, they're probably not the kind of folks I would want to work for anyway. With them being the back-up plan now, I just hope that I am not being an idiot.