Sleep-Walking

[prixmium]

So far, I have never done any sleep-walking except that time I needed to pee when I had really terrible food poisoning and passed out in my dorm room. But living in Japan, I feel like I'm sleep walking. And the thing is, I'm in better shape than when I started last time, and I don't necessarily feel exhausted at all times. However, I basically don't do anything when I am awake. This is my first time even touching my computer in a while. I am so glad it seems to be doing okay here.

I really need to start writing on some exchange fics. I knwo what i want to write for at least one of them. I have time, too. I just need something to do other than work and sleep, work and sleep, and there is absolutely nothing else I really DO. Even though I'm awake right now, I am far too tired to actually write a creative word.

Then there's the fact that I did try to be friendly back when I first got here. I went on a trip with Shibuya and Shinjuku with my coworker they moved away from me and his friend from EFL teaching in Austria who joined him with Westgate this time. I felt like maybe I was a third wheel in a way, at least to the other guy. But then again, I feel like I am a third wheel everywhere. I put my foot in my mouth VERY mildly and didn't recover deftly when I apparently didn't get the memo from looking at him that the new guy was gay. Like, I'm bi, but in gay man world that seems to mean absolutely nothing in terms of understanding them or respecting them. Makes me a bit prickly, but I don't know if it is a founded thing or jsut me being prickly because I'm insecure. He seemed okay with me generally, but I felt like the world's most uncool person in the world in their estimation.

I think that a lot of this has to do with the fact that I don't drink. Because I don't drink, I don't get drunk. I obviously also don't do illicit drugs because I don't feel like risking legal trouble, ESPECIALLY not in Japan, and also because I don't feel like I'd have much fun doing it. But I feel like that more and more there is just no "fun" to be had outside that kind of life. I was thinking the other day about how I never meet anyone who is around my age. I always meet people who are in their very early 20s or people who are past 35. And the past 35 crowd are definitely probably more my speed, but I just wonder where the hell people my age went???

I guess they all died of alcohol poisoning or something.

Comments

[mindstalk]

Sympathies.

Non-drug people are out there, somewhere! And yeah, don't court the Japanese legal system over drugs.

[prixmium]

Oh, for sure. They weren't going to do that here, either. Not worth the risk. And I honestly don't really have a PROBLEM with all illicit drugs... I have a problem with risking my livelihood over momentary "fun" that I don't find fun anyway. There are some things I would try if it were legal and I could do it with a small group of people I trusted already, but see... I do not see myself getting to trust people through substance use.

[mxcatmoon]

Is there any sort of Facebook groups for the area you're in, or other online platforms where you can look for friends with your interests? When I first moved to Atlanta, I used Meetup.com and I really liked it. You browse by area and interest, and find a group of people who meet over a common hobby. They even have things like walking and hiking groups, just about every interest. (in my case I then ended up with a job on a graveyard shift, so there went my awakening social life). It's been a few year since I've used it, but I recommend checking it out.

[prixmium]

I don't really know! I know that Meetup.com has been suggested, but with how much of an introvert I am it feels like a huge ask to even try. I might look, but again since I only plan to be here for my contract this time and probably not to come back for a long time, I ask myself if it's even worth it. I developed that habit, in part, because where I live back home it always seemed like I lived way too far away from any cool-place for there to be anything on websites like that for people my age. Again, unless you were super into alcohol or pot.

I've only ever seen the Atlanta airport, but I weirdly like it there.

[mxcatmoon]

Up to you of course. I don't know how long you're there for. It doesn't have to be to make any long term relationships, it's just good if you decide you'd like some people to hang out with once in a while. Some of the ones I joined only met once a month.

[toxictsukino]

'They died of alcohol poisoning or something' what a fucking mood. Me too fam. Me too. I feel that way being old here on a university campus or just dealing with people in general. where the fuck are people my age? I need to be around people who have their shit somewhat together.

[prixmium]

I know it is so, so strange. Where did they go? Especially where you are, it isn't like they ALL got married, had kids, or a combination of the above. What sucks is that I even might like to just get married and maybe have kids someday, but there seem to be no peers left in the world. Where did they go??????